Sex is to a happy relationship what butter is to a lobster feast: Totally and completely necessary. “It’s something you do with your partner that most people don’t do with anyone else, so it sets the relationship apart and makes it special,” says clinical psychologist Ursula Ofman, Psy.D. Ready to make the most of that exclusive bond? Here, experts share the bedroom routines that separate the so-in-love couples from the rest. Try them out and recapture that can’t-keep-your-hands-off-one-another feeling in no time flat.
If you’d rather zone out in front of the TV than have sex but you do it anyway, your girlfriend can probably tell. That’s bad news for your satisfaction, both in the bedroom and out. “Nothing is deadlier than the perception that someone is only participating because they feel obligated,” says Ofman. Instead, people in ecstatic relationships get themselves into a frame of mind that focuses on how much fun sex is for them. Thinking about what’s pleasurable or erotic for you instead of just doing it for her makes you more likely to have a good sexual experience, says Ofman.